Gene pool crap shoot
Last Friday, R. and I met with a genetic counselor at Columbia-Presbyterian. My doctor suggested the counselor could better explain the NT results and make us feel more comfortable about the CVS. She made us feel less hesitant about the CVS (a marginally higher risk of miscarriage than an amnio), but more nervous about the roulette we are playing with our gene pool. Down Syndrome is our big worry because of my age, but all other chromosomal abnormalities could happen anyway. I’m convinced if anyone spoke to a genetic counselor before trying to get pregnant, they wouldn’t even try.
She took a thorough family history of both R. and I, marking up a pre-made family tree with blank rectangles. With each potential genetic flaw, she’d scribble a different symbol then pull out her genetic counseling book and tell us the chance that the disease or condition was genetic, and our chance of being a carrier. After two hours, we left with a CVS appointment scheduled for the following Friday. Again, we walked most of the way home a bit dazed by the information and feeling very small and powerless to do anything about the inevitable. I guess you could say we had achieved an unsettling peace, a throw up your hands and sigh surrender.
We would have scheduled the CVS for Monday but because of the bleeding last week, we decided to allow for several more days of healing. The spotting had gone away by Monday and all was fine until last night when I started bleeding again at 11pm. Not heavy, but steady throughout the night, ending sometime in the early morning. When it started, both R. and I started pacing around the apartment. We’d been through it before and I knew what the doctor would say. I wasn’t cramping, so no need to panic. What does the book say? R. asked. Why don’t you read it? I responded. He picked up “What to Expect” and I found the more clinical “Your Pregnancy & Birth” given to me by Dr. L. on my first visit.
R. read things like, “It’s definitely scary to see blood down below when you’re pregnant. But what’s not definite is that bleeding is a sign that something’s wrong with your pregnancy. Many women – about 1 in 5, in fact – experience some bleeding during pregnancy, and a very large majority go on to have a perfectly healthy pregnancy and baby.” In my book I found “bleeding” under the “Complications During Pregnancy” chapter: “Miscarriage occurs in about 15-20% of al pregnancies, often during the first three months. Bleeding is the most common sign that a miscarriage might occur.” We decided we liked the more fluffy, illustrated “What to Expect” approach and I decided not to consult the other book anymore.
I just talked to my doctor and she said to go ahead with Friday’s procedure. The ultrasound will show any problems and if there are risks, they won’t do it. We are ready. We want it over with. We want to be able to exhale and poo-poo the numbers.
