My first girdle
If I haven’t said it before, pregnancy has not been what I expected. I can only imagine what motherhood will be like. But back to the pregnancy. Before my last doctor’s visit I started to feel some lumpy swelling in my lower right abdomen. Dr. L. said it was probably a build-up of blood and pressure from my expanding uterus. Put your feet up, apply heat. Not the dramatic solution I wanted by one I tried to follow. But in the next few weeks it became increasingly uncomfortable causing me to walk with a slight limp (to take the pressure off) and switch from heat to ice as recommended by a yoga teacher. Most nights I come home from work and lie on the couch with an ice pack on my crotch. Not what I expected. At all.
Last weekend it felt even worse and decided to stay off of my feet as much as possible, putting an end to my second trimester activity. Then I felt that the lump had progressed further south. Yup. As far south as it could go. A phone call to Dr. L. confirmed that I had varicose veins, but not in my legs as most pregnant women anticipate. After looking it up online, I self-diagnosed myself with vulvar varicosities. From what I gather, this seems to happen around the mid-twenty weeks and beyond. After my initial horror, I figured I had to deal with it. Here’s what I found helps:
1) Lying down with my legs propped up. Everyone recommends it and it does help. Impossible to do at work, or on the subway, or anyplace but your own home. Meaning, I spend more time at home.
2) Ice. Not sure it it reduces swelling, but I’m surprised by how much it eases the discomfort. I cringed at the thought of putting ice on my thang. But everyone should try it!
3) A maternity girdle. I’m not sure if many people really call them that, but I like calling back an earlier time. I have never worn a girdle and I hope this is the closest I come. These devices are more like support belts — stretchy bands that wrap around your waist and secure with velcro or hooks. I’m in the process of researching and experimenting. Today I bought one at Buy Buy Baby (the medela Maternity Support) — it’s clunkier than ones I found online but I didn’t want to wait a week for it to come in the mail. I’m not sure if I’ll wear it in public, under clothes, but I wore it to the gym today and am wearing it now as I waddle around the apartment in stretched out cotton pants and one of Rob’s old undershirts. The girdle is worn outside, for maximum apartment fashion. I feel like an old man trying to hold his hernia in. But I don’t care. It helps relieve the pressure on my groin by holding up this big belly of mine.
These days it’s about getting through the day. Seems like my second tri honeymoon is over.
Maternity clothes = happiness
The other night I went on a maternity clothes shopping spree. I’ve been avoiding it for a good month now. At 25 weeks (I think, I’ve lost count if you can believe it), I’ve tested the boundaries of all my stretchy, loose fitting clothes. Even those are getting tight. I’ve cycled the same four or five works outfits for the past two months. Sometime in August, I stopped changing out of my flip flops (which I wore on my way to work) into my “nice” shoes and kept the flip flops on all day. My office is casual enough, but really, it wasn’t too pretty. But last week it dawned on me that it was time. I was not going to be one of those women who can wear their low-rise jeans to the end, who can get away with buying certain styles (stretchy skirts pulled low, empire waist dresses and tops). Not working for me. And I was further dejected a couple of weeks ago when R. and I stumbled upon a Mimi Maternity, Pea in the Pod and Modern Maternity in a strip mall in New Jersey. The clothes were somewhat tasteful, but they didn’t look any bigger than what I’d find in any other store. Some shirts had ruched sides but otherwise looked slimmer than what I already owned. I insisted on combing the racks for something not too expensive and something that looked halfway decent. R. grudgingly waited in the TV circle (smart business move: they set up a flat screen TV with leather chairs for the men to numb themselves while the women shopped).
What I didn’t buy: pants. The large didn’t fit — the final blow to my ego. What I found: one overpriced brown stretchy skirt with wide-mouthed waistband, one sweatshirt with bulbous belly (score), one grey schmata dress from the low-end brand (Modern Maternity) that I bought because 1) it fit, and 2) it was $20. Shopping has become a desperate act of hope for me. These weren’t bad buys, but they left me wanting. I still didn’t have any t-shirts that fit. I’ve been wearing an embarrassment triad of Gap t-shirts that have stretched with me but the v-necks allow my expanding boobs to hang out.
Enough! A friend told me that the Gap and Old Navy on 34th Street have maternity clothes. One night I searched online and the clothes were reasonably priced and looked like any other Gap outfit. The next day I dragged myself to the stores and grabbed a few items to try on. They fit much better than the Mimi Maternity family of products did, were better priced and more like something I would wear anyway. And the sizing was more forgiving — I could actually fit in a small which is my normal top size (although I figure they size down , but I don’t mind). At Old Navy, the selection was more grim but I found a cute casual dress for $25. Now that I know how these stores fit, I’m happy to order online and spare myself the frenzy of 34th street.
The next day I wore one of my new shirts to work. I was nearly gleeful. It was one of those ruched styles that look like they’d fit horribly but they actually are kind of flattering to the jutting belly. All day I felt like a human being. I even took off my flip-flops and found that by mid-morning my swollen feet could squeeze into my leather shoes.
Next mission: sizing up my shoes.
Here’s a quick review of the maternity stores I visited, for anyone who might be ready for them:
Modern Maternity, Mimi Maternity, Pea in the Pod:
These three stores belong to the same franchise and progressively increase in price and fashion forwardness. I wasn’t impressed with their selection — too trendy for maternity clothes, and the fit wasn’t gracious for someone whose expansion includes not only the belly but butt and legs. I did like their workout clothes (Modern Maternity) — reasonably priced and non-offensive. But the rest of the Modern Maternity section was fairly depressing (ugly and poorly made). A plus: the TV and lounge section; the free water and juice! A negative: the sixteen “special offer” pitches the cashier gives you while checking out (ie, sign up for People magazine, a credit card, diaper service…)
Gap:
The online store offers more than the store (small section) I found in Manhattan. But go to the store first to figure out the fit. I found that even with my weight gain I was still a small/medium whereas at Mimi and co. I was a large. Good for tops. In general, I wasn’t impressed with any of the stores “maternity” sweaters — they didn’t look any different than regular sweaters. A negative: not a huge selection in store. A plus: you get to shop among the masses and the cashier says a cheerful “congratulations” after you’ve paid.
Old Navy:
Again, the store didn’t offer as much as online. I recommend a reconnaissance of the store to figure out fit and quality. Old Navy is much poorer quality than the Gap but hey, you’ll only need it to hold together for a few months. A plus: cheap as heck. A negative: may fall apart before you get home.
6th month check-up
Each time I go for my monthly check-up, I expect something eventful to happen. Nothing bad, of course. But maybe some recognition, some little reward, for getting through the past month. Maybe even acknowledgment that my aches and pains, my expanding belly – something – is special or noteworthy.
Not so. The nurse weighs me, takes my blood pressure, and asks me how I’m feeling while I sit there swinging my legs waiting for my gold star. Another month down! But even the monitoring of the fetal heartbeat is perfunctory at best. The nurses properly sympathize with the state of my body – swollen, chubby, itchy. After all the busy work is done, Dr. L. comes in and reads my stats on her laptop. As we chat, she passes her hand over my belly and exclaims “good growth!” I would hope so, I think, looking down at the bubble that contains a two pound fetus at most. I cling to her enthusiasm for this one thing because it’s all I get. The exam is over by the time I’m warming up to it. Grasping for a more substantial interchange, I ask her about the pain in my lower right abdomen – “I swear I have a hernia or groin injury.” I have swelling to prove it! I think “The swelling is normal and you couldn’t possibly have a hernia,” she lobs back. “Your intestines are above the uterus.” No way, she insists. I want her to at least examine it but she doesn’t offer and I already feel foolish for my incorrect self-diagnosis. I refer to my list of questions I’ve prepared to her but we’ve already talked about them all: it’s okay to fly in a small plane (no air pressure issues, just make sure you have a good pilot); the movement I’m feeling is normal (even the squirmy repositioning of head or butt when I’m lying on my back – this means the baby has room to move and he/she is happy); and lying on my back is fine (despite every book, magazine and web site saying not to after four months).
Believe me, I’m happy to not have any problems. Thrilled. Elated. I guess this is a normal pregnancy, with no fanfare or applause. But there is a small part of me that wants a pat on the back for getting through the month.
Tiny Flutters
About a week ago, just when I started worrying that I hadn’t felt the baby move yet, something happened in my lower abdomen that I otherwise would have written off as gas. Sitting on the couch, watching yet another insufferable reality show, I waited for it to happen again. My doctor said I might feel it early in my fifth month, or at the end of the month (which it was), and that I might not feel it again for a few weeks. But having felt it once, I wanted to feel it again.
The next day, it was back. This time it felt more amphibious, like a goldfish swimming around down there. A flutter against the uterus, sometimes low, sometimes high by the belly button. Each time I’d stop what I was doing to try to analyze it a little more. Each day the flutter returned. I keep hoping that it won’t go away for a while, as Dr. L. said it might. On Sunday I started month 6 and I’m pretty sure one should feel movement consistently by now.
Another change of late is that I am working out again — sluggish stints on the elliptical machine, cheesy pre-natal exercise DVDs that I attempt in our cramped, over-furnished living room. After a few days of flutters I was at the gym lifting some light weights — most books advise against lying on the back or stomach but Dr. L. said if I was comfortable doing it to go ahead. So I was on my back doing some chest presses and felt a sudden rash of advanced flutters verging on somersaults. I stopped doing what I was doing — it almost felt like spasms. I put my hand on my belly to calm the little guy or girl, thinking, sorry, Mom is torturing you with this workout plus we haven’t eaten in a while. I felt something push against my skin — it was not a pleasant feeling. I lifted my shirt and saw a bulge to the left of my belly button, and I swear it traveled to the right side. I told myself this must be normal, this is what people talk about when they say they can see body parts poking out. But isn’t it too soon for this? I went from flutters to bulges in a few days. I couldn’t help but feel that the baby was trying to tell me something — “stop working out” or “feed me.” I told this to my sister who said she never felt that her babies were trying to tell her something when they moved around. Oh well.
It must have been yesterday morning that I woke up (on my back) with the same hard lump in my belly. I told R. to put his hand on it — he was moved by what is the closest we have come to feeling our baby. But he took it away before it started traveling again and I felt that I’d lost a witness to my new bodily trick. It seems that lying on my back isn’t a good idea — I think it compresses the uterus and makes it hard for the baby to move around.
I’m sure this is all normal, despite being freaked out at least once a day by fetal back flips and guppy laps in amniotic fluid. And I’ve come to love the aquatic butterflies in my tummy, so different from what I imagined it would feel like.
All is well
(I thought I posted this last week but just noticed that it wasn’t on the site…)
In case anyone was wondering, we are all doing well. R. and I finally took a real vacation (hence the blog silence) and it’s taking me longer to get back into the groove than usual. That’s a lie — it always takes me a long time to get back on track after being away but as with most things these days I blame it on the pregnancy. A handy excuse. But there is some truth to it. I’m finding that pregnancy isn’t agreeing with me so much. The morning sickness passed towards the end of my fourth month which was around the time I was allowed to start exercising again. More on all of this to come.
Thanks to everyone for reading my blog. If you read, I will write.
