That queasy feeling
Being pregnant, I thought I might be preoccupied with thoughts of a cuddly baby, the future stretched ahead, perhaps a new found connection with my body as incubator and nourisher. But I think about none of these things. Instead, I am blindsided by what I suppose is morning sickness (although I feel a steady nausea all day) combined with the side effects of the hormones I continue to take. I can only watch the Mother’s Days festivities from afar, not connecting myself with this holiday. So no warm fuzzy thought for me. I struggle to keep from sinking into self pity. I mean, this is what I want. This is the process. But most pregnant women haven’t gone through six months of IVF and hormones, haven’t already sacrificed what it is to feel like themselves. I know, I’m complaining. Stop complaining. Many women endure far more discomfort and pain and suffering that I have, than I do. And I’m still in that in-between state of having conceived and crossing that magical 14 week threshold.
But I’m not really complaining. I think I’m more amazed at where I am right now. How hard it is muster up joy. It’s hard to see the bright side of things when you just want to crawl into bed each hour of the day.
My acupuncturist suggested I wear Sea Bands for the nausea. They were originally designed to alleviate motion sickness. The terry cloth wristbands have an embedded plastic stud that applies pressure on the Nei Kuan acupressure point. I chose the light blue over navy, and feel very John McEnroe when I wear them. Do they work? I’m not sure. But they leave deep purple impressions between the tendons on the inside of my wrist. Sometimes I feel less queasy and almost normal.
