Week 6: ultrasound
I saw the kidney bean shaped yolk sac. I even saw the heart beat – a black and white rapid flash in my uterus. Dr. M. kept asking me to believe her, as if I don’t hang on to every word she says. I was fairly confident we’d find our yolk sac because I felt nauseas and generally crappy all day. I wasn’t prepared for the other revelations that included the discovery of my arcuate uterus. Arcuate means “heart shaped.” The uterus is generally triangular, an upside down triangle. The top of my upside down triangle dips, creating the heart, and this puts me at higher risk for pre-term. Dr. M. tried to point out the shape on the ultrasound (again, “believe me”) but my civilian eye could not decipher the web of black and white tissue or faint edges of the uterus. I believed. But what does that mean? I can’t comprehend half the things Dr. M. tells me. Granted, it doesn’t help that I’m splayed out on my back, legs in the air, while she stands at the counter scribbling on my file. It’s not like I can take notes. So I ask again and again, what does this mean, and she says, we’ll have to keep an eye on it. She gives me a sympathetic look, which I hate, and says I will, after all, need to see a high risk OB. I thought I would because of my age, but before the exam she didn’t think so. Because she didn’t do my HSG (about a year ago) she doesn’t know if it was always this shape, or if it is a result from the treatments. Does this means it might correct itself? I won’t be graduating from the fertility office next week. She wants me to come back two more weeks to keep an eye on me.
She also points out several large ovarian cysts that have formed since the transfer. This is normal, she says, but they are large and numerous enough for her to tell me to stop exercising. But I’ve only been walking and doing gentle yoga. No long walks, she says. You need to be more specific, I say. No 20 block walks. That’s a mile. I can’t walk a mile? I don’t point out that I probably walk at least a mile a day between home and subway and work and even getting to this appointment. Walking has saved me these past few weeks. The no long walks instruction depresses me more than anything. I feel shallow, for thinking of myself, my sanity, my need to stretch my legs, my need to get the blood flowing in my body. How about yoga, I ask? No inversions, she says.
More research to come on the arcuate uterus. Anyone out there have one?
